Remember that song? I know that vibe. I am a Spiritual, Conscious person who is learning, and on a journey, a path, not bound up in one position, I am flexible on this path, and while I do end up necessarily, in this life classroom, its still a journey, sometimes to the top of a mountain, sometimes through a desert or a jungle or forest, but always I am intent on having an experience...sometimes Spectacular, sometimes just Regular. I am also very much intent on contributing to the best of my ability. It's part of who I am, as a Healer. . I want the best for all people. In order to Help others, sometimes it requires me to go the extra mile. Sometimes I need to work harder for people, speak out, advocate, empower, encourage, make phone calls, negotiate, educate...but sometimes, I just need to shut up. Yes, thats right, shutting up, and listening is a big part of the 'doing' for your loved ones and persons you are setting out to help. Listening is an under-rated Healing Modality. In any event, after all that there is to do, and sometimes not do, to help people achieve their potential, their best situation, their absolute and most favorable position, we wonder why after doing so much, for others does not insure that we can have them in our lives...We say to ourselves things like "After all I DID for him..." or "Why despite all I HAVE DONE for her, does she treat me this way?" and we cannot believe that "He/She did this to me even after I did this for him/her." It's like we think that our work will be reciprocated by the very people we set out to encourage or help. It's not always the case, and truly we know this. And just as it is foolish to think that everyone we help or assist will help us in a kind of pay it forward relationship, it's foolish to imagine that this is how it is 'supposed to be'. It's not. It is supposed to be just as it is. It's up to YOU to put into the Universe what you expect, but you must hold up your part of the Universal Bargain. I am thinking of a specific situation. Domestic Violence and Toxic Relationships. You have done it all. You lied. You cried. You worked, you tried, but nothing you do, nothing you say, nothing you pray, changes the toxic behavior of the Batterer. He/She is ill with the Toxicity and you being at the 'emotional, spiritual or physical' bedside of this person puts you at risk to contract the illness. And it's like you have no Antibiotic. No Immunization to protect you. You already know no amount of Nice is gonna change things. No amount of "I'm not gonna take this anymore" said in a stern, authoritative voice is going to stop the toxic, or even dangerous behavior. You learning to be Assertive is good, it's a must for those of us who naturally give of ourselves, but no amount of learned Assertiveness will stop the bedside sickness from reaching you. He/She is sick. And you do NOT have the remedy. But you are a good person, a caring person, you feel bad, you feel responsible, walking out, turning your back, on someone 'in need' of whatever it is. But, you don't have what it is that He/She truly needs. You don't. And you sitting there, crowding at the bedside, just hinders the possibility of the Universe to send what He/She needs right now beside them. It's time to realize that you have done everything in your own power to alter things, and change things, and make things better...and now you see that somehow, the Universe is still calling for you to move over, to cease, desist, be still, listen....why can't you be friends? We believe that being good to someone somehow insures they will be good to us too. But we have to stop being Naive. We understand this with animals. When an animal has been mistreated and becomes a biter, we feel badly for the animal. We may try to our best ability to get that animal help, to ease the discomfort that we see in the animal as he lashes out in anger and fear, with his teeth and his claws. But at the end of the day, a biter is a biter and we cannot allow ourselves to be repeatidly bitten. It cannot work. It is unhealthy. It is dangerous. It is futile. It is hopeless. I would like to explain to you why you cannot be friends with your abuser. I would like to show you how you can have a safe life, and a good life, and that when you truly take care of your self, you are inadvertently giving a toxic person a chance to get better. By you staying, enduring, you are contracting that disease and cannot save Him/Her or Yourself...by trying to remain in even just a Friendly Relationship with someone who has this kind of Illness is putting you own self at risk. Listen, I know what you are going to say...if it is an illness and if it is that He/She is 'sick', how does someone who is a Healer, someone who has always put others first, someone who truly cares for the sick as a natural part of who they are, in a sense 'turn away' from that person? I know. I know. It's hard. But we have to realize that our Medicine is not THE medicine. Our Help is Not Helping. We have to make way for the Universe to send the Help. Send the Medicine. And we must in the meantime, maintain a safe distance, and keep ourselves as Healthy and in good Condition. We have to remind ourselves that if we don't, we clearly will never be able to help another. If we cannot do it 'for ourselves' than we have to do it for them...Listen, don't speak, when the Universe is talking. The Universe is speaking and telling you to make way, so make way now. Be kind. To yourself, and to Him/Her. By removing yourself from the area of bedside, where the other Healers will come to help. Make Room. Be Kind. To Yourself, to Your Loved Ones, to Everyone...Trust In the Process. Trust in giving Time, Time. Know that You Already Know What is Best. Allow for the Universe to Find Him/Her and Change the Position, without You this time. Give the Universe Permission to Help YOU by keeping you Safe, keeping you Healthy, keeping Your Best Interests at the Forefront. Heal the Sick, go ahead. Help those who Need your Medicine. But when Your Medicine is Not What is Needed, allow the Universe to Guide and Provide.
If you are currently in a Unhealthy Relationship or are going through any kind of Violence or Abuse, get Safe and Call me.
